New York State of Mind
by areuacat
Summary: This is a story of the struggles Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel in the concrete jungle that is New York. It is a tale of love, loss, dance and designer labels. Includes Cassandra July, Brody Weston, Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson and more. Based glee season 4
1. Chapter 1

_Rachel's POV_

__The words 'Turn around' echo in my mind. I begin to twist, my soles squeaking on the pavement. Then I see him. My face lights up, the former tears of sadness streaming down my face, are replaced by pure joy. He's here. In the flesh. My best friend.

I begin sprinting towards him, my shoes slipping off. But I don't mind. Kurt's here. In NYC. That's all that matters.

* * *

I leave the apartment, closing the door behind me. It's strange to think that, just one week ago, this wasn't in my mind. Me and Kurt weren't living together, I was still hung up on...er...him; I wasn't happy. Not like I am now. I pass the fountain and spot Brody perched on a bench doing sit ups.

"999... 1000" He says, faking deep breaths. Brody. I don't quite know where we stand. He's a great guy, but am I reallly over so-and-so? It's obvious- I can't even say his name. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. What would my dads say? I don't know. I'm so lost.

* * *

"Hey Rach, how you doin'" He playfully winks at me. I giggle, but not like the Rachel Berry sophmore. I laugh like the grown up Rachel. The New York Berry. Hey, that has a pretty good ring!

"Come on," I say dragging Brody up by the arm "Let's go, we'll be late"

"But I don't wanna go to school today" He wines. To be honest, I can't blame him. I don't want to go to hell either.


	2. Chapter 2

_Brody's POV_

__We jogged to school, not wanting to be late. Rachel 'speeded' ahead while I followed behind so I could watch her. I really just goggled at her, taking in everything- The pleats in her skirt hovered as she ran, Her navy cardigans creases, her legs. She was unbelievable. I felt a hand touch my shoulder, snapping me back into reality. I spun round smiling politely. If it was Rachel, then I needed to look confident.

"Brody. It's rude to stare. Also, you're late. Just wait till dance class. We WILL be having words later."

Cassandra July's icy tone cut through my body. I had to keep my composure.

"Don't hurt Rachel" I didn't know that I said it until I saw the corners of her mouth turn up, revealing a satisfied smirk.

_"Don't hurt Rachel! Don't hurt Rachel!_" She mimicked. "Wow Brody, I thought you were better than that. See ya in class," She began to saunter away and without looking back she said "Good Luck! " Sarcasm oozed through her voice, drowning me. What was she going to do. If she says one rude thing about Rachel then I'll-

"Brody?" Rachel said as she revealed herself from behind a tree trunk. "What was that about?" She questioned, moving closer. I put my arm around her and we began making our way to school. "It was crazy July, what do you think she was talking about?" I gazed down at her; she looked unfazed. How? I don't know.

* * *

I made my way out of the music hall and over to the changing rooms. I stripped and put on my tight black tee and jeans. I passed Rachel in the corridor- she was on the verge of tears. I grabbed her shoulders and guided her over to a quieter corner of the corridor.

"What happened baby?" I whispered, pulling her into my embrace. It felt natural.

"Cas...cassand..." She stammered, tears streaming down her face; She still looked beautiful.

"Cassandra, okay. What did she do to you honey?" I began getting a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Was this my fault?

"Sh...sh...sh-" Then it happened. Rachel Berry, freshman at NYADA, kissed me. Fireworks errupted in my mind. She was everything I imagined and more. As she pulled away,I resisted the temptation to lean in. My cheeks felt slightly damp, but I didn't care.

"Better?" I asked, not wanting to seem utterly awe-struck.

"Lil bit. Hey, how about you...come over to mine tonight and I can explain it in more detail?" Rachel said, her voice low. I held back my true emotion- jumping up and down would not look good.

"Oh sure. Around 8?"

* * *

All the joy I felt from kissing Rachel flooded away from the minute I stepped into July's classroom. Two chairs were stationed in the corner of the room. Next to them was a huge mountain of folders. OH GOD. We are doing greased lightning. A huge car is in the centre of the dance hall. Jackets are slung in the far corner of the room. I seize one up and put it on.

"Grease is one of the most iconic films and musicals. For your assessment, you will be singing and choreographing a routine. Brody," I lift my head up, staring at the teacher. "I would be honoured if you would be our Danny." I heard the fakeness in her voice. It's obvious. Now that she knows what my weakness is, she will play it to her advantage. Personally, I think Rachel is an undeniable strength.

"I would love to Miss July" Two can play at her game. I see her lip quiver, but only for a second. "I will also be talking to all of you about your performance in this class. I am cutting 10 of you. Get going" That was when my heart dropped.

* * *

**I ship Brochel. That's all I have to say. I'm going to do Kurt on the next chapter, then Brody, then Rachel- This should take us to the end of Britney 2.0. Okay, thanks. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the long overdue update, I've been busy with my SYOC and other story. This is my Hummel chapter. Yay!**

* * *

_Kurt's POV_

Waiting for the answer to come is like waiting for a train. It's dull and nerve-racking. This is it. My first break. I can't go through NYC rejection for a second time. I switch on my laptop and flick through my various emails before going on the internet and clicking on my favourites. I sigh. There it is. . Pixelized dreams which I could soon help create. I look down at my outfit. I look perfect. I wonder how Rachel's doing. Today she was gonna face off to crazy July with Oops I did it again. Good Luck to her

* * *

"And then she kicked me out!" Rachel said, tears rolling down her face.

"Is that even aloud?" I am shocked, I may complain.

"I...I don't know! It...m-m-m-us-t be!" She cries harder. I hand her another Kleenex. I look down. Shit, I need more Kleenex.

* * *

**It's really short but he wasn't in much of that ep. So, I'll do Rachel next, then Brody and then I'll start on Makeover. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I am sorry I haven't updated! Here is the promised Rachel chapter. I've been caught up with my SYOC but it's over now so I'm going to update at least once a week. Pinkie promise!**

* * *

_Rachel's POV_

__I barely slept last night. I just tossed and turned, my mind whirling about where I go from here. Maybe Brody can talk to Cassie, maybe even change her mind. Groggily, I glance at my clock. Ugh, 6am. I haul myself out of bed before plodding into the bathroom to take a relaxing shower so I can clear my head. I let the warm water run over my body, insantly calming me down. So what, I still have Ms Tippideux class to attend, and a bunch of extra-curriculars. It's going to be okay.

* * *

After my long, relaxing shower, I wrap a pale pink towel around my body before commencing in my long, morning routine.I start by turning on my docking station and pressing play on 'defying gravity'. I sigh. So many memories. After a moment of reflection I change- today I wear a tartan skirt with a long sleeved black top and red penny loafers- before straightening my hair and adding a plain red hair band. After that I moisturise. I observe myself in the mirror before deciding that it's summer still and I need to re-think my outfit. I strip and bend down to look in my desk of drawers.

"Hey Rach, how ya- wow." Automatically, I straighten up sharply, my face crimson with embarrassment.

"Brody! I-I-I didn't hear you... er... come in." I stutter, wanting Santana to bitch slap some sense into me. Then Kurt barges in before stopping when he sees me in a spotty pink underwear set.

"Oh, uh... sorry for interrupting. Rachel, when you're... decent, come into my room, k?" I nod, unable to speak. Brody runs his hand through his hair in the doorway, before he sees me looking and he steps outside, closing the door behind me. I can't quite believe it, was Brody Weston checking me out?

* * *

When Brody and I trek to school, it's pretty quiet. I ask him how his assessment went, he says fine. That's how every closed question is answered: fine. Then I sense there is something wrong.

"Brody, are you okay? You seem pre-occupied." I ask, turning to him.

"Well, seeing as I just saw the hottest girl ever in her underwear I'm going to say I'm a little starstruck!" He admits with a sly smile. I can't help it; I blush. I know that I used to say that Finn was the one for me, but now I'm not sure. I feel like there's a chance that Finn was my past and, just maybe, Brody could be my future...


	5. Chapter 5

To be honest, I'm slightly anxious about dance class this week. I mean, did I do enough? Maybe I was wrong, maybe I needed that pressure and I performed. I just don't know and that frightens me stiff. I amble into the studio; I'm always the first there and I like it that way. I'm always early, never late. But I'm never on time, which sucks when the girl you like is hung up on a past boyfriend. I just need to be in the right place and right time so this opportunity doesn't pass me by. Because, if it does, I don't know what I'll do.

* * *

Luckily, I wasn't cut. We run through some intermediate ballet sequences and I put my soul into it. Every movement is driven and executed, bringing positive results. As we finish up, I dab a towel around my sweating face. As everyone disperses in their little groups, I am left alone. Again. Hurt, I quietly pack away my kit. It turns out, that I'm still an outsider. Just like always. I sigh slightly and feel eyes on me. Intrieged, I spin around, hoping that it's Rachel. But I'm disappointed; it's Cassie.

"Yes _Miss_" I ask, bright sarcasm oozing from my pores.

"Brody, It's not all a contest. Anyway, I need a new TA as my old one's playing a flying monkey or something shitty like that and I thought you'd be perfect for the job." She says, looking genuine. Well, there's a first time for everything. I can't help but feel like I'm stepping into a pit of fire, preparing to be engulfed by the flames.

"Wow Cassie! I'd love to, thanks. Monday?" I respond, slightly staggered. As I leave, I can't help but smile slightly. Maybe, just maybe, Cassie's not all bad...


	6. Chapter 6

I can't believe it. Honestly, it's completely awesome. I never really expected it, I'm so used to failure now that dreams seemed out of reach. I feel like I've finally awoken in the city that never sleeps. I got in.

"Rach, Rach, oh my days!" I pant heavily, rushing to see her as the door slowly opens. She looks slightly taken aback, but that doesn't stop me. "I got it! I !It'samazing,I'monlyaninternbuthowcoolistha tlikereallyit'stotally-"

"Kurt?" Rachel asks, making me take a breath. I nod but I'm slightly confused.

"Say it again, but in English this time and, also... remember to breathe!" I inwardly sigh. Here we go again.

* * *

Good doesn't cut it. Words can't describe how totally amazing my whole experience was today. I expected to just run errands, getting refills of coffee and answering a phones. But my boss was lovely and, although I was constantly visiting the coffee machine, she was always looking out for me and telling me that this was only the beginning. I collect up my bag, stuffing all my catalouges in there and, just as I'm about to leave, I feel a light tap on my shoulder.

"Hey there Kurt!" Issabele calls, running up to me. "How was your first day?" We talk for a minute and, as I leave, I can't help but think:

_I think I'm gonna like it here..._


	7. Chapter 7

Adrenaline is pumping through my veins constantly as we tiptoe through the deserted back-streets and eerie alleyways. Eventually we reach it: . I take a quick picture and send it to Brody.

"Rach! Put your fudging phone down and focus. Okay?" I nod, slightly hurt. But I do snigger. Kurt spins round, eyes squinting. "What!" He hisses sharply.

"Ha. Fudge." I begin to crack up before getting a shush from Mr Hummel. I groan, "Ugh, you sound just like the Frickin' librarian."

"Rachel! Shush! Shut up before I tape down your mouth."

"Already done that." I remind him flatly.

"I throw... eggs at your hair!"  
"Jesse."

"I'll, uh... Ugh I don't know just shut the fuck up!"

I gasp, shocked. "Y- You... you said the F word! Ha!" I pull out my phone and begin texting.

"Rach!" He says desperately. I hear the door click and Kurt pushes it open, literally walking on his tiptoes. I choke back a laugh and follow him. This feels so... badass!

* * *

"Freeze!" Someone shouts from behind us, making us spin round with our hands up. My heart pounds and I start blubbering random words, leaving Kurt to explain our motives. But she happily plays along, to my relief. Finally, I'm going to get my almighty makeover.

* * *

**To: Brody **

**From: Rachel**

**You owe me ten dollars! :) xxxx**

* * *

**To: Rachel**

**From: Brody**

**WHAT! No way. I don't believe you. **

* * *

**To: Brody**

**From: Rachel**

**Yep! He said the F word so I win. I'll get it tomorrow, maybe... over dinner at my place? I'll cook.  
xxxxx**

* * *

**To: Rachel**

**From: Brody**

**Ugh, I guess if I HAVE to I'll come over. The things I do for free food. xxxxxx **

* * *

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Did you like the texting thing? I'm really inclined to do one of those internet/messaging fanfics so if you like it let me know. Have a lovely day xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Short Brochel chapter from Brody's POV. The break up will be intense but this last chapter is set to be interesting. **

* * *

****I bound up the flights of stairs, the bouquet grasped in my trembling hand. I shouldn't be nervous really, it's just Rachel. Exactly, it's Rachel. Beautiful, smart, sexy, talented, ambitious, funny, kind, considerate, smiley, confident Rachel. No biggee.

As I continue up the stairs- two at a time, may I add- a faint smell of burning wafts through the air. I ignore it, it's nothing new. Maybe someone was valiantly trying to fry their cat or see if flaming logs could bounce, I don't know. I chuckle slightly. I wish that I wasn't such a nervous pussy, it would be so much easier. Why couldn't I just be your average douche? Oh yeah, not my type. I reach her door and take in a deep breath, trying to calm down and relax my pounding heart (courtisie of the stairs, maybe the elevator would have been wise. Dumbass!) I hear footsteps and the door being unlocked and prepare for fireworks.

"Wow, you look smokin'" I say. Hm. Maybe it's not that bad after all.

* * *

_Rachel's POV_

__I finish my slice of pizza and look at Brody wrestling with some stringy cheese. When he finishes, we chat suggestively about where we'll go from here. Then it happens. We both lean in, the sexual tension almost too much to handle. Our lips touch and a longing fire inside of me ignites, fireworks whizzing and exploding. This is how I imagined Finn felt when kissing me or, at least, used to. But it's clear to me now: Brody's my future. Finn was my first love and not my last. This is something fair and special, somethin-

A knocking disturbs our blooming make out session. Brody groans, collapsing on the cushions. I guess it's Kurt and smile, hopping up to open the door. But it's not an embarrassed Kurt. It's Finn. M... My Finn. And when he sees Brody's confused face, I know that shit's gonna hit the fan. Damn.


	9. Chapter 9

_Finn's POV_

__When I saw her face, I knew this was the wrong choice. Three months of absolutely no contact and now this. I shouldn't have told her to move on. A tall, hot guy stands up and the grin falls off his face too. He soon leaves embarrassed and Rachel and I change and go to bed, the room filled with eerie silence. After a while, Kurt comes back and is also shocked to see me. I guess my leaving was more of a shock than I thought. I do drift off eventually but wake up after twenty minutes feeling the shooting pain in my leg again, but I can't define whether it's real or my imagination playing tricks on me. Whatever happens, she has to know eventually. And that won't be good, I know it.

* * *

_Brody's POV_

__I guessed it was Finn from the look on Rachel's face. I can't stay so I promptly leave without giving another look back. The train journey's long and filled with thoughts about Rachel. Maybe I was wrong and nieve, maybe she doesn't love me and it was all an act. It's hard to say something though, after this fiasco. I have a feeling I'll be seeing Finn again however, for better... or for worse. Most likely the latter. Great.

* * *

_Kurt's POV_

__The next morning is a struggle for Rachel and I, adjusting to having Finn around. I can't deny that I've missed him , but he just sort of complicates everything. He doesn't belong in New York with us, he should be in somewhere else. But the city that never sleeps is something that the great Finn Hudson can't handle. I can't say this though, it would upset Rachel. So when I leave for work, I don't really say goodbye as it's too hard to word. Work's work and I call Blaine and have a brief chat. I miss him but this is how it is and it won't change, not any time soon. I guess, for now, I just need to be.


	10. Chapter 10

_Cassandra's POV_

As soon as Shwimmer enters my studio all bright eyed, I know something's different. Then I realise. Trailing behind her is a boy- maybe her age- who looks lost. So this is her magical beanstalk boyfriend.

"Shwimmer, who's the Frankenstein. Is he your sunshade? He's not doing a great job, seeing as he's as fat as a walrus and looks like a minibus." Shockingly, neither Shwimmer nor her plus one seem fazed.

"This is Finn. Finn, Cassandra." Berry introduces dismissively, but her Bo seems into it. He gives me a dopey smile that makes him look like he has the intelligence of a four year old before replying that his name is Finn. I don't even bother with all the cynical jokes that pop into my head. "Finn's looking to see whether NYADA's the school for him and whether he should apply so he's been checking out my classes. He'lll be over their." She explains, pointing towards the bars. Finn trundles over there, while Rachel makes herself look busy. All I know is that Finny boy wouldn't survive a day in NYADA, and he knows it to.

* * *

_Finn's POV_

"I don't fit in here." I admit, looking into Rachel's eyes. She avoids my gaze and I try desperately to find something to say. Nothing comes. I shuffle into Rachel's room, subtly preparing all the stuff I need for my journey back to Lima to fufill my destiny: High School Hero, life= zero. And once again, I'm going it alone.

* * *

**Callback's is the next chapter so be excited! Prepare your Klaine feels.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys. So, this is the prep for going to Callback's chapter which is very Klaine based. I am trying to lengthen the chapters and the next one (Callbacks) will be considerably longer. I hope you like this chapter! Please review x**

* * *

_Blaine's POV_

I guess you could say it was a spur of the moment decision, and I guess you'd be right. But, it just felt so right. It isn't fun spending sleepless nights picturing your long distance boyfriend having fun with someone else or doing something and not even noticing your existence. It's sucks when he rejects your calls and doesn't answer his texts. I don't mean to sound overlly attached, but it's true. I feel so alone and worthless, walking down the halls of McKinley without my only love. But, as I stand nervously outside Kurt's door, I can't help but think about my dishonesty. I don't even know why I was with Eli, why I didn't think about how i'd feel after. But Kurt doesn't need to know that. Not at all.

I rub my sweaty palms together and wipe them down on my jeans, letting out shaky, anxious breaths. I can't fight myself anymore, it's time to face the fact that I miss Kurt like crazy. But I can't shake the feeling that, somehow, everything is going to fall to pieces and it'll all be my fault. And that stings like crazy.

* * *

_Kurt's POV_

I re-enter the main room, brushing down my black and red jacket. Finn sits slouching in the armchair and I give him a slight nudge.

"You can't go to callbacks in a old rugby shirt!" I exclaim, making Finn look awfully lost.

"Uh... what's Callbacks?" Finn asks. Rachel perches on the table and smiles at him.

"Callbacks is this amazing bar where all the NYADA students go. And, lucky for us, there is the option to perform! It's great." She explains and I see Finn tense slightly. Suddenly, there's a soft knock at the door. I glance at Rachel but she shrugs.

"Brody's meeting us there, so it can't be him."

I stride towards the door and unbolt it, sliding it open. To my suprise, Blaine peeks out from behind a bouquet of flowers.

"Blaine!" I shout, throwing my arms around him.

"It looks likes the whole gangs back together again," Rachel smiles. I'm so glad she's right.


	12. Chapter 12

_Rachel's POV_

Kurt pulls up outside callbacks and I untangle my hand from Finn's tight grip. I give him a reassuring smile; I know he's nervous. We all get out the car and slam the doors before the familiar beep comes from Kurt's car key. Kurt and Blaine push open the door and the smell of sweet perfume and alchohol wafts in the air around us. I shrug slightly at a tense Finn and pull him through the door and into the bar. All around us are other NYADA students, some of whom I recognise from the round room and Dance 101, others I remember from the overcrowded hallways and Brody's advanced classes. Then, in the crowd, I spot Brody in a light denim shirt and dark jeans. And, as he smiles and waves us over, I see Finn's expression darken. Suddenly, I feel like I don't know him at all.

* * *

_Finn's POV_

"Hey Brody!" Rachel calls, giving him a 'friendly' hug. I stand there, looking totally out of place and awkward. She pulls away and smiles. "You guys haven't been formerly introduced. Finn, this is Brody," Rachel says, still beaming. But now, it seems slightly forced, like she's _trying_ to make me feel uncomfortable.

"I'm a Junior," Brody adds, holding out his hand. To please Rachel, I shake it, my grip hard. "Wow, firm grip." He says, tightening his grip. We let go of each other and I continue to keep my profile low. As Rachel blabs about something (white noise) I grab a drink from the counter and pretend to listen, when really I'm looking at her amazing b-

"I really want Finn to sing Give your heart a break with me, but he won't do it."

"I... I would but, I'm really out of practise." I explain, avoiding Brody's watchful gaze.

"I guess that's understandable, I mean, you were in Georgia, right? Back-packing? When Rach told me, I thought you'd be a cool guy. I guess she was right."

"Hey, maybe you should sing with her!" I butt in, causing Rach to looked shocked and curious.

"Oh, I don't know, I mean, if you want me to-"

"Yeah, you should do it. Go on, I would." And even though I was being the bigger man, and standing up, I've never felt so small.

* * *

_Kurt's POV_

I watched as Brody and Rachel stepped onstage and couldn't help but see Finn's bitter expression. I nudged him slightly, but he continued staring forward, staring at Rachel. Blaine seems somehow, distracted, like he's not really there, engrossed in his own thoughts. And that scares me. As Brody and Rachel finish, we all clap quietly, so as not to offend Finn. I see a single tear roll down his cheek and I can't help but feel as though I've let him down. I should have interfered with Rachel, and reminded her about Finn. But it's too late now, it's too late to change the past. Now I need to look forward to a long, positive future with Blaine.

* * *

_Brody's POV_

As I step offstage and make my way over to all of Rachel's friends. I don't want it to be this way, when I'm fighting a war with everyone else. I admit, Finn seems kind of cool but awfully judgemental. He barely knows me yet he automatically despises me and everything I do, which sucks. I pull up a chair and sit down, saying a quiet hi to Kurt and his friend/boyfriend.

"You guys were great" Kurt says with a smile. Rach gives him a hug and I nod at him.

"Yeah, Amazing!" Finn adds, a slight edge to his words.

"Thanks Finn, I'm sure you would have sounded great singing it as well."

"I wanna perform." Kurt's friend says abruptly.

"Okay, just go up to the piano guy, say you're a friend of mine."

"Thanks Brody," The boy says sadly, walking over to the piano. I just hope that this works out for the best, for all of us because... I don't want more heartbreak.

* * *

**The next chapter will be the scene before don't speak, where everything comes out. Please review and let me know what you think or what you want me to add! x**


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